Couples stay stuck when they believe they are. Couples grow when they believe they can. The turning point is rarely dramatic.
It happens quietly. One partner decides, “This doesn’t have to be the rest of our life.” Belief shifts. Behavior follows. Connection rebuilds.
Even the best intentions can fall flat when it comes to real change in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean transformation isn’t possible. In this post, we’ll unpack the 5 stages of change most couples go through, so you can recognize where you are and how to take the next step toward deeper connection.
A marriage coach with over 35 years of experience helping couples transform their relationships. She teaches couples the tools, strategies, and mindsets they need to become exceptional partners—creating relationships that are loving, peaceful, connected, and joyful.
Feeling disconnected in your relationship? These three simple yet powerful actions can help you rekindle your connection and spark deeper intimacy—just in time for Valentine’s Day!
This Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about the secret to deeper, more fulfilling love – Gratitude.
Do you argue about chores? Do you wonder why you’re still not on the ‘same page’ about whose job it is to do [ fill in any chore ]?
Let’s think for a minute what a hero does in stories.
They notice there’s something wrong.
They figure out what that wrong thing is.
Then they jump (or fly) in, and then…
They courageously confront the problem (or the villain).
What also happens often is the hero gets a bit beat up as they work out the solution.
Most Empty Nest couples start to notice that their connection with one another is not how they intended. Over the years, for many reasons, they drifted further from each other than they find acceptable now.
Suddenly the house is quiet. No kids are listening to loud music, no teenagers playing video games, no hungry boys eating everything they can get their hands on, and no kids competing loudly for bathroom time. No homework to be monitored, no driving teens around, or cars being borrowed. No piles of dirty laundry that makes the house smell like a barn. Just two adults a bit shell-shocked with the quiet and the peace. The change of energy in the home. The lack of chaos and laughter. The struggles and the sweet moments with the kids.
Empty Nest is a huge transition for all couples. Some couples have been looking forward to this time and couldn’t wait until the last child “flew the nest”. But the majority of couples find this transition time to be filled with emotions and challenges.
For us, as Empty Nest couples (and I’ve been in that place a few years ago) one of the biggest dilemmas is— now that the children have flown off to start their next chapter, what will become of us? We’ve become disconnected and maybe distant and the sparks that used to exist between us are now flickering and threatening to die out. We’ve spent so much time and energy focusing on our children’s needs, building our careers and maybe taking care of aging parents that we’ve spent little time nurturing the relationship with our partner. We’ve lost that loving, fun, and caring feelings that we used to have together.
I was divorced by the time I turned 30. But not because we didn’t love each other. We had loads of fun together and really cared about one another. But, what it came down to was, I had no clue how to be a great partner. When I was 11, my family was in a horrific boating accident. My grandmother was killed on impact and my brother was hospitalized. We never spoke about it, ever. From that experience and others, in my childhood I learned that “we don’t talk about negative things” and when I got married I brought that thinking into my relationship.