Become the Hero of Your Empty Nest Relationship

We all love a Hero.  

Sometimes the hero wears a cape. Sometimes the hero can fly. 

Or our hero can think better than others so they figure things out more easily.

Or the hero takes more risks. And sometimes they fail.  But then, they learn from their failure and don’t repeat the same mistake over and over.

They keep their purpose in mind better than others do. They focus like a laser.  

And they keep taking ACTION.  

They DO things that get them closer to their goal.  And when they get discouraged, they come back to their calm, thoughtful place and they simply resume.

The Hero Story.

Let’s think for a minute about how the hero’s story unfolds:

The hero notices there’s a threat or some kind of danger to someone or something they care about.

They figure out what that wrong thing is and PLAN how to fix it.

Then they jump (or fly) in,  and then…

They courageously confront the problem (or the villain). 

What also happens often is the hero gets a bit beat up as they work out the solutions, but they persist.

Your Hero Story.

To go from fictional stories to real-life stories, let’s put YOU into the hero role.

Can you guess what the relationship hero does?

The common themes are courage, determination, planning, purpose, and love.

Now YOU, the Relationship Hero, are the focus of this story.

Here’s how this story unfolds.

You become aware (you notice)  that there are things in your relationship that don’t feel right and begin to think that your relationship’s happiness is threatened.

Maybe you feel disconnected from your partner.

Maybe you realize that you two argue about the same things too much and don’t 

resolve them. And you either continue to have these disagreements and feel defeated about resolving them or maybe you’ve gotten into the habit of avoiding those topics and now they are resentments.

Maybe you’re not taking time to have fun with each other. Perhaps you’re both tired after a week of parenting, working, and dealing with household needs.  So you plop onto the couch and zone out watching TV or scrolling through your phones or iPads rather than enjoying one another and connecting.

Maybe your youngest child is in high school and you look ahead to the empty nest and you wonder if your marriage will survive it. Or, your last child has left home for college or work and you’re truly in the midst of this new chapter of your lives.

Maybe you realize you and your partner don’t have deep conversations any more. 

Maybe it’s also that you have physical intimacy rarely or never or maybe it’s gotten too routine and you wish it were more lively and creative.

Then you courageously confront the situation.  

You talk to your partner about it and lovingly persist in wanting to address these problems.

You PLAN together what you’re going to do about these problems and the ones your Partner reveals.

You take ACTION. And it’s both of you being the HEROES of your relationship.

You each have some hard times while pursuing the solutions.  

Maybe you realize that YOU each contributed to the problem.

Maybe you and your partner disagree about the solution.

Maybe your partner finds it difficult to see their part in the problems.

But you persist in your PLAN, accept and love each other  throughout the process and you two find the solutions to the problems.

Along the way you’ve learned tools and ways of thinking that will serve you for the rest of your lives and you’ve found together your path to your best relationship ever.

All because you both, the HEROES of the story, let yourself become aware of the problems and persisted in planning and learning how to solve the problems.

BE THE HEROES OF YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP STORY.

Have the courage to look honestly at your relationship and yourself. PLAN how to solve the problems,

Take ACTIONS. And don’t give up when you fail. Instead, assess what went wrong, forge another approach and then DO that new thing.

That’s how to become the HEROES of your relationship.  

Get a Coach to help you become the heroes.

In my work with over a thousand couples and from my own life,  I’ve learned how daunting it can be for a couple to assess the current state of their relationship.  And then to discuss this assessment with their partner, especially when communication is one of the areas that needs attention.

And then, it’s so difficult to sort through all the information in articles, books, online and in podcasts and plan what solutions to try.

And finally, to take actions and test them out.  Then, persist in trying again and again.  Motivation is exceedingly difficult to sustain.  And the failures are so discouraging on top of the worry about the relationship. Change can feel beyond reach or impossible.  

All of these difficulties can be overcome with the help of a Relationship Coach. As a Psychologist and Relationship Coach specializing with couples I have helped more than a thousand couples create the relationship of their dreams. 

My clients get a coach who can help them stay on course, remain motivated, hold them accountable and be their best cheerleader, as well as being a reality check.  A friend of mine calls it the “velvet boot”. One of my clients described me as being “direct, with grace”. I’m the mentor, teacher and coach for my clients.  And a trusted advisor. 

We “link arms” and get to work. Our goals are always considering both yourself as an individual and you as a partner in your relationship.  Both of those are equally important.

If you’d like my expert coaching help to become the HEROES of your relationship I’d love to hear from you. 

I offer a FREE phone or Zoom call with me to discuss one of the main concerns in your relationship.  I’ll offer at least one tool to begin to solve that problem for you. And then, if you’re interested in working with me and if we think it’s a good fit, I’ll invite you to take your best next step. 

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You can contact me on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram, or email me at carol@drcaroljhenry.com