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When You Feel Stuck: What Writer’s Block Taught Me About My Marriage

Published: June 24, 2025

🕒 Estimated read time: 4 minutes

I usually sit down to write with too many ideas—sorting through them is the challenge. But recently, I stared at a blank screen for hours. Nothing came.

I stepped away, took a walk, flipped through notes, reread old journals—still nothing. That’s when the familiar question surfaced: What if I can’t do this anymore?

Eventually, I reached out to a trusted mentor. She asked,
“Why not write about feeling stuck?”

That simple question cracked something open—because I recognized the feeling. I’d lived it before… not just with writing, but in my marriage.

When You’re Stuck in Your Relationship

It’s the same quiet dread:

Is this how it’s going to be now?
Have we lost the spark?
Are we drifting for good?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The stuck places are where many long-term couples land at some point.

But it doesn’t mean you’re finished. It means something needs your attention.

Start with What You Can Control

In my work with couples, I come back to this often:
We are each responsible for our part.

Not for everything that’s wrong—but for how we show up, respond, and choose to engage (or not).

Another truth I return to: every relationship is made up of three parts—YOU, ME, and WE. When one part gets neglected, the system suffers.

And often, the part we have the most access to is ourselves.
So that’s where I started.

1. Think About How You Think

Our thoughts shape how we show up in the relationship. They become the tone we bring into every interaction.

So I asked myself:

-What am I thinking about my partner? Are those thoughts true, partly true, or just old patterns? Are they helping us feel closer—or pushing us apart? I didn’t just think these through—I wrote them down. Something shifts when you see your thoughts on the page. It creates clarity. It also builds accountability.

2. See the Value in Your Differences

My husband and I are different in ways that used to spark admiration—and now, sometimes, friction. We’ve disagreed about politics, organization styles, even how seriously to take things. In seasons of stress, those differences felt like obstacles.

But the truth is, they were never the problem.

The problem was trying to fix each other instead of learning how to navigate with respect. We sat down and talked about it—on purpose, not in the middle of an argument. We agreed to stop trying to change each other and instead revisit what those differences actually brought to our relationship. It wasn’t instant harmony, but it was a shift

3. Make the Relationship a Priority Again

Parenting, careers, daily logistics—those things have a way of swallowing couple time whole. And we felt it.

So we made the decision to move the relationship back up the list.

Not in theory, but in action. We scheduled time together, made plans, followed through. It didn’t have to be extravagant. It just had to be real. That choice—to prioritize “we”—reignited something we’d missed.

If You’re Feeling Stuck Too…

It’s easy to feel discouraged when the connection feels off. But most relationships don’t fall apart all at once. They fade. Quietly. Slowly.

And they can be brought back—with care, intention, and ownership.

TRY THIS:

Take 10 minutes to write your answers to these:

1. Check your thoughts.

What am I thinking about my partner?
Are these thoughts true, partly true, or distorted?
Are they bringing us closer—or pulling us apart?

2. Revisit your differences.

What strengths do your differences offer your relationship? Look for what they add, not what they lack.

3. Schedule connection.
Not just “when we get a chance.” Make space. Put it on the calendar. Protect it. You don’t have to wait until things feel better to take action.

I hope this reflection gives you a way forward. These moments of “stuckness” don’t have to be the end of the story. They can be a turning point.

If you try any of the actions above, I’d love to hear how they work for you.

With love,

Carol

Dr. Carol J Henry

P.S. And if this resonates, feel free to share it with someone who’s also doing the work to stay connected.

📩 Email: carol@drcaroljhenry.com
📲 Instagram DM: @drcaroljhenry
📞 Schedule a Free Call: https://calendly.com/carol-j-henryphd/discovery-call

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For more relationship information and advice, contact me: Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram, or email me at carol@drcaroljhenry.com