Try Change Without Fear: The Power of a Beginner’s Mind

Published: June 12, 2025

Last week, I flew to Houston for five days of something a little outside my comfort zone—but completely in service of the work I love: helping couples reconnect, repair, and thrive.

What was I doing in Houston? I was learning how to speak more confidently and clearly about my work—especially how I help couples create lasting relationship success. It wasn’t just about public speaking. It was about learning how to share myself—my mission, my purpose, and the real results people get when they work with me.

I’ll be honest: talking about other people’s work comes easily to me. But when it’s time to talk about my own? That gets tricky.
I’ve had thoughts like:

• “Am I bragging?”
  
  
• “Does this sound salesy?”
  
  
• “Will people think I’m arrogant?”
  
  

Those inner critics kept me from fully owning the impact I know I can have. And yet, if I truly want to help more couples, I need to be able to say clearly and confidently, “Here’s how I can help you—and it works.”

So I made the leap. I signed up. I showed up. And I got nervous.
Really nervous.
But I stayed determined.

We spent two days learning, practicing, and fine-tuning. On the third day, it was time: I stepped onto a stage in front of a room full of people—and a panel of expert coaches—holding a microphone and delivering my talk in three minutes flat.

Was I amazing? Not quite.
Was I proud? Absolutely.

I stumbled a bit. I got distracted. I watched the coaches type feedback in real time. But I stayed in it. I let myself be new at something.

And that’s when I remembered one of my favorite concepts: Beginner’s Mind.

What Is Beginner’s Mind?

Beginner’s Mind means allowing yourself to be new at something—without judgment. It’s the mindset that says:

• “Of course I don’t know how to do this yet—I’m just beginning.”
  
  
• “I’ll improve with practice.”
  
  
• “Mistakes are part of learning.”
  
  

It quiets the inner critic and invites in curiosity and growth.

When you give yourself permission to not be perfect right away, you unlock a powerful learning process. You become more receptive to feedback. You stop interpreting every stumble as failure. You become more compassionate with yourself.

This mindset is essential when you’re making changes—especially in your relationship.

Change Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard.

I was reminded of how my clients might feel when they first start working with me.
They’re unsure.
They wonder if it’s too late.
They feel nervous and even ashamed about the things they’ve said or done in the past.

That’s when I encourage them to bring Beginner’s Mind.

It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out.
It’s okay to feel clumsy.
What matters is that you’re willing to try something new—for yourself, and for your relationship.

Every couple I work with goes through this process. And the ones who thrive are the ones who let themselves be learners, not perfectionists.

So if there’s something you want to change in your relationship—your communication, your connection, your sense of being seen and heard—try it with a little Beginner’s Mind.

You might even find that growth feels less like hard work… and more like possibility.

With love,

Carol

Dr. Carol J Henry

P.S. If you’re ready to make a change in your relationship but aren’t sure how to begin, I’d love to help. You can reach me by replying to this email or any of the forms below 

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