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The Turtle Won & the Hare Burned Out

Published: July 11, 2025

đź•’ Estimated read time: 4 minutes

You know the old fable: the hare and the turtle set off for a race. The hare sprinted ahead but kept stopping to chase every “shiny object” that caught its eye. The turtle, steady and consistent, simply kept moving—slowly but surely—until it crossed the finish line first.

So here’s my question for you: Are you the turtle or the hare in your relationship?

1. The Hare

 Do you ever promise yourself—and your spouse—that you’re going to change something you both know needs to change?

You set a clear intention, maybe even start strong, only to lose steam. You get distracted, set your basket of good intentions down, slip back into old habits—and soon enough, the intention is all but forgotten.

Sound familiar? Then you’re a bit like the hare.

 

2. The Turtle

 If you’re more like the turtle, you still set intentions. But instead of sprinting and stopping, you keep your goal in sight, even when life piles extra weight on your back—work, kids, aging parents, daily demands.

Sure, you may slow down at times, but you keep moving. And in the end, you “win” the race—by creating and sustaining an exceptional relationship.

The turtle’s secret? Relentless focus on what matters most.

The hare wanted to win too—but the distractions felt more urgent in the moment than the goal itself. And so the goal slipped away.

Why This Matters

In the thousands of coaching sessions I’ve led over the years, I’ve seen all combinations: a turtle married to a hare, two turtles together, two hares racing in circles. Some couples start out as hares—especially in the busy years of raising kids—and learn, over time, to become more like turtles.

But here’s the hard part: when both partners live like hares for too long, the relationship often suffers.

Disconnection creeps in. Loneliness sets up camp. Hope for change can fade.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

 

What It Takes to Shift


 So what does “turning turtle” look like?

 

First, it’s about resetting your vision for your relationship—getting clear about what you both want now and for the years ahead. Next, it’s about taking an honest look at the habits you’ve built: Which ones bring you closer? Which ones keep you stuck? Which ones are you ready to let go?

 

Most of us don’t pause to ask, Who am I being in my relationship? We drift through days on autopilot—rarely noticing the impact we have, or remembering that we can choose to show up differently.

 

This is where my work comes in. My superpower is helping you reconnect to your power: the ability to see yourself clearly, shift what needs shifting, and create the connection you long for.

 

If you’re ready to see what’s possible, I invite you to book a free Discovery Call with me.

Let’s talk about how you can move from scattered sprints to steady steps—and finally cross the finish line together.

 

 

With love,

Dr Carol

With love,

Carol

Dr. Carol J Henry

P.S. And if this resonates, feel free to share it with someone who’s also doing the work to stay connected.

đź“© Email: carol@drcaroljhenry.com
📲 Instagram DM: @drcaroljhenry
đź“ž Schedule a Free Call: https://calendly.com/carol-j-henryphd/discovery-call

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