I want to help as many of you as possible to navigate this season of crisis that we’re living in and come out of it feeling connected in your relationship and personally empowered. To state the obvious, we’re living in an unprecedented time of chaos. In part, the chaos is due to changes that are imposed on us by the Corona 19 virus and by different people’s responses to it. And, the chaos is also due to things changing relentlessly, as we learn more about how long this virus might continue to disrupt our lives. What we had originally thought was going to be with us for weeks or a couple of months at most, has now stretched out to possibly be more than a year.
So many feelings are present in ALL of us. Feelings that many of us are unused to having—
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Fear
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Uncertainty
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Sadness,
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Anger
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Overwhelm
In this training I want to help you dig down inside yourselves and find your reservoirs of
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love,
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wisdom,
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resilience,
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generosity,
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compassion
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and courage
and help you bring them to the surface, every day.
It’s natural to have negative and powerless feelings—they come from our brains telling us that there’s danger and so we have the flight, freeze or fight response.
Many people who respond with the fight option end up fighting with their partner or their children. (And let’s not even talk about fighting with other humans outside the house.)
Remember, we, as humans have the ability to withstand and to overcome. That’s our resilience..
We thought about this Covid very differently in early March, 2020.
That was when we thought we were in for a few months of life-altering changes, but it would be resolved fairly soon.
Now though, we know differently. And many of us feel like they’ve exhausted their coping strategies, or just gradually stopped using them as more and more challenging scenarios became our new norm.
We don’t have to hoard toilet paper or disinfecting wipes because they’re readily available. But now we have to figure out how to help teach our children at home while they’re supposed to look at their computers or tablets for hours at a time. Then help them with homework as usual. All the while working full time with expectations and deadlines.
My recommendations that I’m about to talk about are for everyone. If you were doing some of these in the early days of Covid, maybe you’ve stopped.
Or maybe the strategies that you were using before no longer apply now that things have changed. If neither of these are true for you, there will still be some things in here for you, because we will all have to pivot multiple more times, as Covid lives on.
I’m talking about Daily Routines, Setting Intentions and Scheduling your days. And not just “must-dos” but also self-care and also some relaxation and enjoyment.
You’re going to learn 3 practical and specific things to do now to reduce chaos and anxiety and to be the calm person you CAN be. As a bonus, you can even have some FUN.
To start, let’s look at why life seems so chaotic right now.
First, when we are in a crisis, none of your former coping strategies work.
–our daily routines no longer apply to the crisis situation
–the assumptions and predictions we’ve made are turned upside down.
–I will go to work at a certain time and in a certain place
–The kids will be at school or daycare
–We can grocery shop easily
–we can eat out at restaurants
–we and the kids can socialize with friends, in person
–we will make a certain income
All these things gave us a sense of security, comfort, and predictability, which make our brains calm because it doesn’t perceive danger. And many of them no longer apply to our lives as they are now.
We need to create new routines and make new assumptions
We have to calm ourselves and our children
We have to remember that we need good nutrition, exercise and/or movement
Self-care for each family member
And for those working at home, a plan of how to get work done efficiently and successfully, despite all the other things.
And all the other people under one roof!
Here’s the first strategy:
I want you to Create a daily morning routine or ritual, write it down and DO it:
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Get up at the time you plan
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Make your bed , Get dressed, Brush your teeth, eat, have your morning beverage, and…
Set your intentions about how you want to show up today.
Think about these things:
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How do I want to feel today?
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How do I want to feel at the end of the day, about the ways I showed up?
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Plan how you want to feel about yourself.
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How you want to treat and feel about your partner?
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How you want to be as a parent today?
Remember why you’re doing this: to lessen the sense of chaos, to reduce worry, to have some plans that you can then DO, so you get a feeling of accomplishment. And to feel in charge of yourself and your environment.
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Figure out your own top 3-5 priorities for the day (include a bonus priority of fun.)
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Share them with your partner in a discussion and find out your partner’s priorities. And if you have children, the priorities you and your partner have for the children and how you two are going to allocate child management and household needs. Adjust as needed.
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Figure out when you will accomplish your priorities.
Some underlying principles that we all need to acknowledge in this time. They are:
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Time. You’ll probably have less time for work projects, especially if there are children. Work this out with your employer, if you have one, or with yourself if you’re self-employed.
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Control what you have the ability to control and don’t waste time trying to control those things that aren’t in your realm of influence.
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This is a season for flexibility and helping each other. Also, for realizing that other people’s nerves are frayed too, so giving the benefit of the doubt when at all possible
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We are being called to be the verybest selves that we can be. We will falter at times, and we’ll succeed at others. Sometimes in ways that amaze us. I hope that is your experience.
Create a morning routine that gets you moving.
Set your INTENTIONS about how you want to show up this new day.
Schedule your day so that you can have feelings of control, cooperation with your partner, realism about how much you can get done and security for that day.
Show up in the way that you decided to in your morning routine.
Have some relaxation and fun.
If you’re interested please grab my freebie Say This Instead you’ll learn [omit communication] tips and techniques so that you’ll know what to say to get your point across.
With love,
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Committed Couples Growing Together.
