Once of the songs was a sung version of a poem by E.E. Cummings. It was especially moving to me because the poem had been recited at my wedding many years ago. It starts:
“I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) I am never without it….”
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your partner thought and felt that way about you and if you thought and felt that way about your partner? It sounds to me like, The relationship of our dreams.
Another of the songs, Widmung with text by Friedrich Ruckert says:
“You are my soul, my heart, my joy, my pain… Your love lifts me above myself.”
These poems evoked in me the feeling state that we all might aspire to, as we seek to build a loving and deeply connected relationship. When we talk about our ideal relationship, we often talk about what we will be doing. It’s also important to think about how we want to feel, as this relationship becomes a reality.
When we think of love in its purest, clearest form it can seem a long way off in the distance as we live our everyday lives. However, these poems give us some idea of how we might decide to think about our partners and then be a step (or leap) closer to our own ideal relationships.
Sometimes it’s helpful to dream about what we want to feel and experience, ideally. That can become a means to getting motivated to up-level your relationship, repair the broken parts and get closer to the ideal. And “magic” can happen when you both want to work at improving your relationship.
Here’s an exercise that you might do.
1. Get some paper, a journal, a new word document, a note on your phone.
2. Write down some of the things that would be part of your ideal relationship. For example, Each evening we check in with each other about our days, with no interruptions or We work out together daily, then go home and cook together.
3. Then, think about where you are right now in your relationship, regarding those elements.
4. Now, write down one (1) step that you want to take that would take you one step closer to your ideal.
When people have a good idea of what they’re working towards, that tend to help them sustain their motivation. Try it!
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PS: Over the past 30 years I’ve been working with couples around their romance, communication and growing together.
