What is it that makes some couples seem so happy?
They can be seen talking and laughing when others are silent and seem disconnected. What’s going on?
One characteristic of these happy couples is that they haven’t lost their sense of adventure.
I’m not talking about extreme sports. What I mean is that they continue to try new things—whether it’s a new restaurant, a class that they take together, a hobby that they share or a sport that they both play or both watch.
There’s joy in the variety and especially, the togetherness, learning and enjoying together.
The couple that is playful, thoughtful and fun has a happy relationship.
Fun and playfulness tend to gradually disappear in relationships, all too often. And that’s sad because fun provides connection and shared stories, in ways that daily activities just don’t do.
We’re all so much busier than we thought possible.
Work expectations seem to be increasing, exponentially.
Covid has added a layer of stress and responsibilities that has almost everyone more stressed.
Pair that stress with the added responsibilities of children trying to learn online, taking care of a house and possibility caring for an ill parent, exercising to stay healthy, and all your time seems to be taken up.
Little time or energy remains for nurturing your relationship.
Does this sound familiar?
We can get into ruts and have a hard time seeing a way out.
Why did I choose Halloween as the holiday to highlight for fun? Because there is no obligation to cook a huge meal for many people, there aren’t family expectations like some other holidays, and no special church service to attend (online).
So, the time can be spent just the way you want it to be spent.
Halloween conjures up playfulness, costumes, and trick or treating (or a substitute for trick or treating during Covid).
If you have children, there will likely be the fun of helping them in their (virtual?) trick or treating.
If you do take children trick or treating, you can either plan your special time after they’re in bed or on a day close to Halloween.
Another possibility could be that you have your own trick and treat fun as a couple. Notice the “and” in trick and treating.
What could be a trick and treat?
I think of a surprise as a “trick”
Maybe you tell your partner that there’s only left-overs for dinner (the trick). Instead, you cook the partner’s favorite meal (the treat) and have candles (orange or black would be great).
Or say you’re going to get take out from one restaurant (the trick), and really get it from their favorite one (the treat).
Or dress up in a crazy or sexy outfit (the trick) and eat your dinner in bed followed by love making (the treat).
Or carve a pumpkin that greets your partner when he or she arrives home (trick and treat combined).
Or a treat can be a gift—an actual gift, or an act of service. Maybe a new board game. Or a puzzle. Or an invitation to take a day-long road trip or boat ride with social distancing, of course.
The main point is that Halloween is a time when fun and playfulness can be brought into your relationship. If Halloween night doesn’t work because of schedules or other factors, plan it a different night, but plan it.
It’s so very important that we invite fun and playfulness into our relationships, regularly.
They spark closeness and intimacy, both emotional closeness and physical closeness.
When we do, we are communicating that our partner is worth spending time with and that she or he is a source of fun.
Knowing that you two can play together is one of the elements that sustains a relationship and keeps it happy, loving and juicy.
Isn’t that what you want?!
I would love to hear how it went.
Carol
If you’re interested please grab my freebie
Spark Your Romance where you’ll learn how to make romance the focus of your relationship and overall improve your relationship with your partner.
PS: This week, try this. Plan a Trick and Treat for you and your partner. Post about what you planned. I can’t wait to hear!
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